Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
