No awkward lesbian experiences without me
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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