They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
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