Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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