But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
