I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
