But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
