Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
People in love make me want to vomit
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
