I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
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