fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
50% drunk capacity currently
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
