Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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