Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
