Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
