Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Randomize
