im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
