I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
