I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
