You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
