I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
