The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
