how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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