One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
