I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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