well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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