Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Randomize
