just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize