we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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