He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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