cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
