He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
My bed smells like the plague
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
