Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
