Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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