how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
