we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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