so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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