Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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