For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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