it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
