I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
