went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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