I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
My underwear smells like fireworks.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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