I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
