Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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