WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
