Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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