Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
