Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
