careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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