The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
well I can't set my house on fire every night
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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