nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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