she kept yelling 'call me bella'
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Randomize
