**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize