i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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