you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
