no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
