I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
false alarm. still invincible.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
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