Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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