uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
