grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
