I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize
