I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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