Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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