Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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