She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
