your parents love me but you hate me
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
