you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
