do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
