have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
