So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
