It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
