its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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