Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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