DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize