'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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