soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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