My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
