i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
