I look better un-naked...
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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