So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
