We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
