Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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