I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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